What I LEARNED Today

All the SINGLE Ladies.... all the Single Ladies..

Imagine a courtroom; somber interior, deep rich forest green velvet carpentry, well oiled mahogany podiums and benches throughout, with just enough light filtering in through tall 100 year old windows to expose beams of light filled with floating dust particles.  

A stern-faced, white haired judge sits behind a large mustache as he listens to yet another disgruntled divorced couple standing at opposite pedestals arguing over Alimony and Child Support.

The woman wearing thread bare clothing motioned pleadingly with callused hands as she explained that the ex-spouse had neglected to provide any type of SUPPORT including money, food, shelter, and clothing for the couple’s mutual children over the past year.

When asked about the validity of the woman’s claims of non-support by the wise and humble judge; the gentleman replied: “I provide ample SUPPORT for her daily. I call regularly, encourage, uplift and inspire her. When she feels overwhelmed or calls for money I assure her that she is capable, and competent and amazing enough to figure it out.”

Naturally, the Judge’s ruling was easy. “Sir, I sentence you to jail.”

 

 

 

The scenario is fictional (as far as I know) but it’s comical and logical. No one would hear this story and think “Well, that Dad/former spouse is totally doing his share.”

Yet…. Again and again and again I hear the whining of Married women complaining about the neglect of emotional support from their spouse.

Let’s be blunt. It isn’t wise to bitch about that to us single ladies.

As you sleep in your paid for bed, under your paid for roof, eating your paid for food, wearing your paid for clothing, making phone calls on your paid for phone and reading this blog post on a paid for computer…. Please don’t expect me to hand you a tissue for your crocodile tears.

How about this... I'll trade you for the "SUPPORT" you are ignoring and in return- promise to call you every day with the "EMOTIONAL SUPPORT" you are so abused with by not having.
 

We are in charge of our own emotional stability- not someone else…. OH MAN is it NICE when we can rely upon another person to assist us when we feel down or sad or stressed… holy schmoly- I have some dear and precious friends who serve me regularly in this regard…

But if you think it’s “hard” to get SUPPORT from a lover you are married to… try getting ANY support (emotional or otherwise) from a man that USED to be your lover and is currently in the Bed of another woman paying for her bills.

Sincerely,

Single Working Mom

Food For Thought on Food Storage

In lieu of many of the recent natural disasters occurring across the world, there is a renewed admonition from many communities to increase and build a Food Storage Supply. This is good advice.

However, I am often surprised at the lack of vision some people have concerning the “doomsday” mentality- assuming that some barrels of wheat and water will do the job. If those barrels make you sleep easier; then by all means get them and get lots of them.

I have also been perplexed by a number of people who are simultaneously building their food storage and weapon supply. A woman recently explained to me that it was important to have the weapons supply she and her family were also increasing… “In order to protect the food storage- Naturally.”

Here are some things to consider; being prepared for natural disasters is a wise and valuable activity- having clean water and food and even guns/ammo in order to hunt and provide is a wonderful practice, but remember that we must also be emotionally, physically and intellectually prepared as well.

Emotionally, are you spiritually centered? Are you able to hear the guidance of your heart and intuition? This will be vital when the “world has turned upside down.” When you are emotionally distressed, has it become habit to turn to others, to chemicals, to television, or thoughtless entertainment to soothe your emotional pain? If that is unavailable, how will you cope? Spend time now, also building your center of self. Meditate, Pray, Connect with Nature. Learn to recognize that our SOULS are eternal and there is peace WITHIN us even when the rest of the world may be without. Practice connecting to that part of yourself. Kids are involved too… it can be gratifying as a parent to teach our kids to turn to us for solutions, but it is most VITAL they learn to search within themselves for their answers and how to problem solve and to think critically.

Physically, are you healthy? Are you active, do you climb and walk and eat moderately? Are you free of addictions… not just to drugs/pharmaceuticals, but to sugar? Caffeine? Dairy? Can you run? It seems so silly to live a sedentary lifestyle and build a supply of food storage. EXERCISE. Learn to treat common ailments with natural herbs, taking vitamins to boost immunity, stretching/yoga, or other activity. Did you know with just 20 minutes of physical activity a day- MANY health issues are DRAMATICALLY reduced? In a country where almost HALF of our annual deaths are OBESITY related, it is valid to consider that focusing on optimizing our health matters. Is your body PHYSICALLY prepared to ward off infection and disease or heal quickly? Are the chemicals in your body balanced by proper diet, moderation, high fruit/veggie/fiber intake?

Intellectually, are you able to care for yourself if the world we live in were devoid of modern conveniences? Can you garden? Can you use basic tools? Can you sew? Can you cook? If the financial institutions failed, the supply of electricity failed; turning on your hose to water your flowers… didn’t work- could you survive? Learn the basics of gardening, recognizing edible plants from poisonous- HAVE FUN LEARNING TO FISH!!!!! There are tons of great tutorials about being self sufficient, using less energy, cooking outdoors, how to make cleaners, soaps, shampoos out of common household items… You can find many of them on Pinterest! There are many options like essential oils that treat minor and major ailments with little side effects and unlike pharmaceuticals- most have no specific shelf life- lasting for years.

In closing, and in reference to using weapons against our fellow human beings; brothers and sisters, to save food- I won’t do it. I won’t make the choice to watch my neighbors and their children starve while I have supply. I understand protecting my children from marauders- yes. But if I have supply to give, I will give it. If I have medicine to give, I will give it. We are all in together or all out together. Saving the cookies is less important to me than saving a life.

I’ve  heard the arguments of; “it’s either us or them-or of the ten virgins with or without oil…” I boldly reply there is no "US and THEM." There is WE. If my life is shortened by extending the life of another; then I die with peace in my heart and no regret.

Summing up; Food storage is important. But remember to Emotionally, Physically, and intellectually prepare as well.

Katie Jo Welch

2013 October

Jesus was a JEW

If you read the title of this article, you may have just been shocked…. ! Yep- It’s correct. JEW. So, in reading the Bible, where does he say “Hi, My name is Jesus. I am Jewish.” If there is a passage that speaks those words… I missed it.

I think HE got it. I think He understood that Titles and Labels are redundant. He said, “I am Light. I am the Son of God. I am one with my creator.”

Wait a moment, is that what Jewish means? Couldn’t he have said “I am Jewish” and it meant the same thing? Perhaps.
Along this thread of thought…. Is that what we are saying if we say “I am Christian.”? Or Muslim? Or Buddhist? Uh oh… did I just cross a line? ;)

Guess what- Religions are GREAT, they can be a way to connect, worship, spiritually evolve and challenge ourselves. ANY RELIGION will do this for us. Join one, enjoy it, thrive in it- live by it (unless is teaches harming another human or one human is better than another, etc.) BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER that the word RELIGION is like a nametag…a piece of clothing you put on every day.

I wouldn’t introduce myself as “Hi, I am red shirt.” I may wear the shirt, I may love the shirt, I may choose it day after day… but I am NOT the shirt.

When someone says to me “I am Muslim.” It means something different to me than it does to them- because I don’t know much about that belief system- really I only have heard rumors or scare tactics, political stuff. They may assume they are saying “I am a child of God who seeks World Peace.” But I only hear “I wear weird clothing.”

If I identify myself by saying “I am Mormon. I am Christian. I am Catholic. I am Jewish.” Then I am sequentially saying there is division and whatever way I follow my theological beliefs is THE way and I have drawn a line in the sand that clearly defines “ME” this side “YOU” that side.

Don’t mistake my words here…. Participate in Religion. IF you feel it serves your life and those around you; but PLEASE recognize and KNOW that we are MORE than what we BELIEVE.

Realize that RELIGION is subsequent in importance to BEING the DIVINE LIGHT. I am a Child of God/Universe. I am a being of Light who seeks to create LOVE and Peace on Earth. I know I am of ALL and ONE with ALL and what I do and say and think affects ALL. I am a messenger. I am a bringer of truth.

And…. I am ALL THESE THINGS… while practicing or not practicing Religion.

Remember Remember REMEMBER… if you believe in Religion- it was meant as a TOOL to build connection with GOD-NOT a TOOL to measure others by or WHACK on their heads if they walk a different path to Him.

I am learning about the GREATS, Jesus included- and to me, they are all saying the same thing. LOVE ONE ANOTHER. WE ARE ONE.

Katie Jo Welch

Do Diamonds Matter?

As the manager of a fine jewelry store Duke's Jewelers, I am lucky enough to see beautiful gemstones and precious metals everyday. I am intrigued and awestruck every day by the magnificence and rarity of the pieces I get to see. (see Duke's Blog here)

http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2816332722658381570#editor/target=page;pageID=5355866586901180091

Yet, so many people view what I do as materialistic. SO, I thought I would start with WHY people began buying Engagement Rings to start with...

Historically, women weren't "able" or permitted to provide for themselves... ANNNNDDDD their value as a prospective WIFE relied a lot on her VIRGINITY. Of course this is because in the "OLD" days there weren't any PATERNITY tests..... so securing your genuine parentage was kind of a big deal.

The Engagement Ring came about because it was "INSURANCE" that IF a woman was ENGAGED and IF the engagement fell through... she could still have something of value in order to provide for herself if she was "RUINED."

A man essentially backed up his PROMISE of Marriage by financial risk.

This may seem like an outdated practice, but let me ask you- how many people do you know now- that DON'T get a ring when they are wedded? Not many.

YES, there is symbolism in the ring etc. etc. that's not what this post is about.

Routinely, recently divorced women, young mothers, enter my store to sell us their diamond rings or to get an appraisal so they can sell it elsewhere. I have seen these rings transmuted into food, and rent for the young children that cling to their sides- and I see it all the time.

Seems like a bummer? Nope. It adds to the PROMISE in my opinion. Yes, we as women are more able to have professions, educations and income of our own, but it's important BOTH sexes REALIZE that the intention of the ENGAGEMENT ring is provide SECURITY, serve as a reminder of FIDELITY, represent ETERNITY and that the size of the Gemstone reflects on the GENTLEMAN MUCH MORE THAN the female who wears it.

Women boast in some "holier than thou" tones about how their husband WANTED to get them a big diamond and they said NO because of vanity.... Shame on you.

If you've ever heard of Johnny Lingo and the Ten Cow Wife (Utahns can explain it if you don't know what I'm talking about) then you may understand that Diamond Rings are the new "ten cow woman" of modern times. People do not assume your husband and you aren't vain, they assume HE is a cheap bum.

Am I SAYING go into DEBT.... NO.

But realize, people go into debt for cars, and sofas every day... depreciating "assets" neither of which you will wear til the day you die and then pass down to your children who will eventually pass it down to their own.

The diamond ring purchase IS SUPPOSED to be a CHALLENGE. It was because it was a CHALLENGE that showed the way a man approached the relationship. Was he willing to save, and work, and budget, and put in extra jobs and time.. JUST TO MAKE SURE the woman he LOVED had a valuable item to provide for her- in case he ever wasn't there to do it?

I LOVE my job. I LOVE what I do. I LOVE Diamonds and Gemstones. I LOVE that people commit to one another and are willing to put A LOT of investment financially and emotionally into the symbol of that union and commitment.

Next time you are thinking that Diamond Rings are status symbols, remember that it is the GIVER it reflects, NOT the receiver.

Join my ANTI-Cubic Zirconia Club some other time.... I could talk about that for 4 pages.

Find beautiful jewelry here: http://www.dukesjewelers.com/

The SOB Story

Everyone has a Sob Story. The infamous “Really Stinky Stuff Happened to Me When…” Stories. Not just SOME people have them- ALL people.

Poor, Pitiful, Unhappy people have them, and Rich, Successful, Healthy, Joyful people have them.

I call it the “SO Because” Story. SOB. So Because “this and that” happened, I am etc. Story.

The people who are struggling, the people who use these stories to justify their circumstances being less than ideal, or disease, or anger and bitterness are the same people who choose to pick up their “So Because” and throw it on their shoulders like a yoke; weighed down by the past, with every step, their burden becoming heavier and heavier as more and more weight is added as any life experience that didn’t “FEEL GOOD” is heaped on the pile.

The people who are in great relationships, financially sound, generally happy STILL have THESE STORIES…. But they have turned their “So Because” into stepping stones.

The weight, the heaviness…. It turns out is also SOLID enough to BUILD upon. Each and every experience may be used to climb ever higher. There is NO UNIVERSAL LAW saying that what HAPPENS to you is YOURS to CARRY. To learn from- YES. To Grow from- YES. To CLIMB- YES.

For this reason, the “SO BECAUSE” the “SOB” story really is a “SO Because.” So, Because of these LIFE Experiences, I have learned and grown and developed a unique perspective I would have never gained otherwise and THAT has made me stronger, wiser, more compassionate.

OOOOORRRR – So, Because of the LIFE Experiences in my childhood, my past etc. I have chosen to spin uselessly as if on a Merry-Go-Round- telling every new acquaintance the SOB, doing all I can to achieve “Martyrdom” through identifying with the SOB.

 Silly isn’t it…. That often, we try to “OUT-SOB” one another, when really, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US HAS HAD THE SOB STORIES that most perfectly challenge us and refine us. They are opportunities. They are FUEL.

Just like FUEL can be used to CREATE POWER, to thrust you forward, to move you places, to take you from one place to another…. So can FUEL be used to SET YOURSELF ON FIRE and destroy your Divine and Unique purpose and Path on Earth.

The Beauty of the scenario is that it’s a LEVEL playing FIELD. EVERYONE HAS A SOB STORY… so the empowering, the FREEAGENCY we are gifted by ourselves is THE CHOICE to use them however we decide.

Katie Jo Welch